The thing about lying to your parents is, you have to do it to protect them.
It’s for their own good.
===============
“And everyone will ask me about … things.”
===============
” Now he’s just “Things.”
“And you haven’t… been in touch with him?” ....
That’s another euphemism. What he means is, “Have you sent him any more obsessive texts?”
===============
They were just me being honest and open, which,
by the way, you’re supposed to be in a relationship.
I mean, you can’t just switch off your feelings because the other person did, can
you? You can’t just say, “Oh right! So your plan is, we never see each other
again, never make love again, never talk or communicate in any way. Fab idea,
Josh, why didn’t I think of that?”
===============
“But it’s been nearly two months now. You’ve got to
move on, darling. See other young men … go out and enjoy yourself…”
===============
“I know it was different. I’m just saying, people do
sometimes get back together. It does happen.”
===============
I don’t want to get back together with Josh.” I try to sound as if this is a
ridiculous idea. “That’s not why I texted him. I just wanted closure. I mean, he
broke things off with no warning, no talking, no discussion. I never got any
answers. It’s like … unfinished business.
===============
I’ve learned a lot about myself, and …
I’m in a good place. Really.
===============
Sometimes life really sucks.
===============
“No human on God’s earth is a nobody.”
God, I hate all my relatives.
=======================
My stomach lurches again. I keep doing mental math and reaching three
hundred and feeling a bit sick.
================
He could what? He could what? Who asked him to interfere, anyway?
================
“Right.” Trying to hide my shock, I start unpacking the meager things.
Someone lives for 105 years and this is all that’s left? A shoe box?
=================
It might seem simple and straightforward, until you actually
tried it yourself.
==============
How are you going to forget him if you
keep talking about him?
================
You have to be direct with men. Stop the games. Lay it
out there. If I’d known at her age what that girl knows …
===============
Ex-boyfriends shall not be allowed to take another girl back to the special
restaurant they used to go to with their previous girlfriend.
==============
“It’s not enough to believe!” Sadie’s voice is suddenly passionate, almost
savage. “Don’t you see that, you stupid girl? You could spend your whole life
hoping and believing! If a love affair is one-sided, then it’s only ever a question,
never an answer. You can’t live your life waiting for an answer.”
==============
“It’s simply that I do
know what it’s like to think you’re in love. I know what it’s like to squander all
your hours and all your tears and all your heart on something which turns out to
be … nothing. Don’t waste your life. That’s all.”
==============
I sigh. There’s something about Ed that makes me lower my guard. Maybe it’s
because I honestly don’t care what he thinks of me.
=============
I’m just thinking. People are allowed to think, aren’t they?
=============
That’s just like him: I mention a problem once, and he instantly finds a solution.
=============
It all makes sense. This is why she wanted the necklace. This is what it means to
her. At that time in her life, she was happy. Never mind what happened before
or after. Never mind that her heart got broken. At that precise moment,
everything was perfect.
==============
Sadie spent all her life waiting for the answer to a question. And now I know he
did too. And even though the affair happened more than eighty years ago, even
though Stephen is dead and Sadie is dead and there’s nothing anyone can do
about it, I’m still seething with misery as I stride along the pavement. It was all
so unfair. It was all so wrong.
=============
“You know, sometimes you hear a voice in your head,”
“It’s telling me not to let you go. It’s telling me you’re the best thing
that’s happened to me and I better not fuck this one up.”
============
This is one of the many good things about Ed. He’s never late.
============
She was my great-aunt. She was part of our heritage.” I hesitate as I
reach the part I really want to hit home. “It’s easy to discount family. It’s easy
to take them for granted. But your family is your history. Your family is part of
who you are. And without Sadie, none of us would be in the position we are
today.”
============
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