I can't quite believe it's all ended like this. In one day, my entire perfect romance has crumbled into nothing.
---------------------------------------
My hand hovers uncertainly over my mouse. Does he deserve at least a chance to
explain?
-----------------------------------
I don't care about him.
'I want to forget about it,' 'I want to move on.'
-----------------------------------------
I don't care.
I'm not going to think about him any more. He can do what he likes. He can keep his
stupid secrets.
Good luck to him. That's it. He's out of my brain.
---------------------------------------
My first big meeting. My first big chance – and this is what happens. I feel like giving up
on the whole thing.
--------------------------------------------------------
You see. The world's not
so bad after all. It's all just a question of being positive. Anything can happen in life, can't
it? You never know what's round the next corner.
--------------------------------
and I've never really been in love …'-------------------------
But there's a part of me that wants a
huge, amazing romance. I want passion. I want to be swept off my feet. I want an
earthquake, or a … I don't know, a huge whirlwind … something exciting . Sometimes I
feel as if there's this whole new, thrilling life waiting for me out there, and if I can just—'
--------------------------------------------------
Well, obviously I'll be completely frank and honest. Without actually telling him the
truth—
-----------------------------------------
A few random comments thrown out by a person in the next-door seat. Who's going
to remember that? Maybe he wasn't even listening .
-----------------------------------
I mean, God, I told this man everything
about myself. Everything . I told him what sort of knickers I wear, and what flavour ice-
cream I like, and how I lost my virginity, and—
---------------------------------------
He was a stranger. He was supposed to be a stranger . The whole point about strangers
is, they disappear into the ether, never to be seen again. Not turn up at the office. Not ask
you what eight nines are. Not turn out to be your mega-boss employer.
Well, all I can say is, that's taught me. My parents always said never talk to strangers,
and they were right. I'm never telling a stranger anything again. Ever .
-----------------------------------------------
I can still do this. I can still impress him
-----------------------------------------
OK, now I want to die. Someone please kill me.
----------------------------------------
I don't understand. What's happened? Where's the banter gone? He's completely
changed.
-------------------------------------------
I feel like crying with disappointment. I just don't understand it. It was going so well. We
were getting on so fantastically. What went wrong?
--------------------------------------
'You don't know me!' I cry angrily, before I can stop myself. 'Jack, you may know a few
random facts about me. But that doesn't mean you know me!'
----------------------------------
He leans forward and this time there's no hesitation. His mouth lands on mine, sweet and firm. He's kissing me. Jack Harper is kissing me on a park bench.
His mouth is opening mine, his stubble is rough against my face. His arm creeps around
me and pulls me towards him, and my breath catches in my throat. I find myself reaching
under his jacket, feeling the ridges of muscle beneath his shirt, wanting to rip it off. Oh
God, I want this. I want more.
------------------------------------
Oh God. Every time I think about it, my stomach gives an excited little fizz. I can't
concentrate at work. I can't think about anything else.
-----------------------------------
OK, just stop. This is getting ridiculous. I'll be fine. I'm sure I'll be fine. It'll be like doing a ballet exam – once you get into it, you forget to be nervous.
----------------------------------
I am going to kill him.
-----------------------------
'I'm intrigued,' says Jack. 'Which particular tricks did you have in mind?'
Why did I ever open my stupid mouth? Why?
----------------------------------------------
We would never have found each other.
It was fate. I was meant to get on that plane. I was meant to get upgraded. I was meant to
spill my secrets. Suddenly I know what the meaning of life is.
----------------------------------------------
And he's interested in me. You know, he asks me
questions all the time, and he seems really genuinely fascinated by the answers.
-----------------------------------------
Everyone in the world
should be more honest with each other. Everyone should share!
---------------------------------------
'Recently my life has turned around and I'm finding inspiration
again. I'm enjoying it again.'
-----------------------------------
'She reads fifteen horoscopes every day and chooses the one she likes best …'
------------------------------------------
I feel so stupid. So stupid .
---------------------------
I feel such a complete … fool . He was just using
me, right from the beginning. He was never really interested in me. I was just a … a
market research project.'
---------------------
I'm just a nothing-special girl.'
---------------------
'I am! That's exactly what I am. I'm just an ordinary nothing. And I was so stupid, I
believed it all. I honestly thought Jack loved me. I mean, maybe not exactly loved me.' I
feel myself colour. 'But … you know. Felt about me like I felt about him.'
-------------------------------
He knew exactly what I would like. He knew I wanted excitement, and intrigue, and a big romance.
He just fed me everything he knew I'd like. And I believed it – because I wanted to
believe it.'
--------------------------
'I am never going to trust a
man again. Never.'
-----------------------------
'Relationships are a battle. They
are a chess game. And what did I do? I just threw all my chess pieces down on the board
at once, and said, "Here! Have them all!"' .... 'The truth is, men
and women should tell each other nothing. Nothing .'
----------------------------
Last night, when Jack said 'What are you thinking about?' and I said 'Oh nothing …'
that wasn't quite true. I was actually planning the names of all our children.
But the thing is, it's completely normal to have the odd little secret from your boyfriend.
Everyone knows that.
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